Finally found the accurate psychiatric term for falling for “the idea of the person”.

Illusions never change into something real.  

Too bad, really. 

There comes a time…

Once you give up (… or maybe it’s moving on…?), when the chase is over & the fire’s out; a sense of melting ensues.

Where did the butterflies disappear? Once ever-fluttering; impelling me to force them to quiet back down, and at that moment, there I was, thinking I had hated them.

No,

no, there is something even worse than the fear of rejection, feeling exhausted & claustrophobic in the interconnection impossible to de-code… wishing to figure out your own mixed emotions & trying to decide which steps you wish to take. When each of the paths seem as though they will somehow all end up in the same melo-dramatic stab to the heart, either on your or his part…

Months of torture & yet such bliss when looked back at the comparison to now.

Yes,

there is something worse than all the confusion, the misunderstanding and the fear.

A mellow melt.

Succumbing back to the comfort zone, withdrawal from it all at the merest discouraging hint, only to realize you’ve lost. What it is you’ve lost is irrelevant, because you have not lost against anyone or anything, but rather just lost, without battle, to yourself. 

.

…when the chase is over & the fire’s out; a sense of melting ensues.

RESPONSE TO PANDA’S COMMENT:

(sorry, i have no idea how to respond to your comment… lmao. so i’m just adding it here :P) 

thank you for the input! :D i changed it :) & lol. i thought something was off… good ol’panda :P <3

tumblrstars:

Click To make Some music

i don’t know yet.

Heyy derr ;)

So welcome to my tumblr… I’m not really sure how this works yet or what I’m really supposed to do on this site… so I’m going  to start by making this blog-style entry.

So what’s going on in my life right now? December. <3 Beautiful, beautiful December. As much as I dislike winter, I can’t deny the beauty of the first snowfall. The entire city covered in a white blanket, completely un-harmed… as yet :P. Or how warm and cozy the houses look, decorated with the Christmas lights… I’m not even Christian, so I don’t celebrate, but the atmosphere of the holiday is magical. :3 haha

Hmm… what else. Oh yes, I am currently doing (or was) Digital Detox (one week of totally cutting off the use of Facebook, texting, calling (etc.)), but yesterday I just got so curious about tumblr, I had to sneak onto it & make an account :P 

OKI DOKES. I’m going to explore this site a bit more… sorry if this isn’t very tumblr style. I’ll probably get the hang of it within a week or two. :)

Happy Mid-Week XD